


The House That Built Me

by sachizzle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, So much angst, and no thats not sarcasm, its pretty insane how much angst, kinda important, like love, um theres other stuff, well its not really minor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4945573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sachizzle/pseuds/sachizzle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis loses everything, including himself, and Harry is the only person that can put him back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The House That Built Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically the first One Direction piece of work I've written. I do not own this band, everything in the story is complete and utter fiction. Oh, one last thing, thank you Chels for literally listening to me go on and on about this for weeks on end, love ya.

He promised her every second of every day for the rest of both of their lives and he never broke that promise.

He promised to be there for her first steps, her first word, her first little giggle and the first time she opened her eyes. He promised to be there for her first bike ride and he promised to carry her home if she fell, he promised to read her stories and tuck her safely into bed, he promised to sit by her bed side until she fell asleep and he promised to leave her night light on.

He promised to hold her hand on the first day of primary school, he promised to hug her when she cried. He promised to be there for her first heartbreak and he promised to listen to her stories about the stupid gossip the girls told her that she swore she didn’t want to know but listened to anyway. He promised to be there for her always and forever and she promised him an eternity.

The funny thing is though, eternity can mean a lifetime for some but for others it could mean a couple hours, a couple days, weeks and years.

He was there for her first steps and he was there when she said her first word. He was the one to make her first giggle escape past her lips and he was holding her when she first opened her eyes. He was the one that bought her that ridiculously bright pink Barbie bike and he was there when she hit a rock and fell, he carried her home and put a plaster on her wound and they watched Disney movies on the couch for the rest of the night. He read The Witches to her every night, gave her a kiss on the forehead when she fell asleep and made sure to leave the little lava lamp on for her before tiptoeing down the hall to his own bedroom.

But,

He never got to walk her into primary school on her first day, but he hugged her every night. He never got to wipe her tears away caused by some stupid boy that broke her beautiful heart and he never got to listen to the gossip Chelsea just had to tell her about Claire and Daniel at Nicola’s party.

He was there for the small eternity they were awarded and he would give anything to have just one more minute with the most beautiful girl in the world.

***

Today was going to be so hard.

He was lost in his own thoughts and busy jotting down a single sentence onto a brand new piece of paper when he heard the soft click of her heels on the hard wood floor, he hadn’t even heard the door open.

“Louis, are you up there love?” he heard his mother call up the staircase in her lovely soft voice.

“I’m in the dining room mum, just give me five minutes please?” he called back, his voice sounding only slightly broken, she rounded the corner and the sound of her footfalls got louder the closer to him she got.

“Honey we’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon.” she said quietly approaching him,

Today was going to be so hard.

“No I know, I just…” he took a deep and mildly steadying breath, blinking back the tears he could feel welling up, “I just don’t know what to write, I don’t know how to start I don’t know where to start and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this I just- I can’t do this mom” he got it out in a flurry of rushed words and tears and Jay was holding him tightly to her chest,

“it’s funny how you can be prepared for a wedding and a birthday but it’s nearly impossible to be prepared for this. It’s just so incredibly hard, I would never wish this on anyone else.”

“It’s going to okay baby, you don’t have to do this you know? No one is expecting anything from you.” She whispered, gently running her fingers through his hair. God, he loves her so much.

The past couple of days have been a steady stream of pain and tears, a blur of new people providing him with condolences and plans and all the things he did not want to deal with. All the things he did not know how to deal with.

“We don’t have to leave right now, everyone will understand Lou”

He was stronger than this dammit, “No it’s okay. Just um, give me ten minutes? I’ll meet you in the car and we can go, I want to at least get something down.” Jay looked as though she was going to protest but ended up smiling at him – albeit a bit sadly- and walking out the front door. Louis took a steadying breath, picked up his pen and turned back to the piece of paper sitting in front of him,

Today was going to be so hard.

***

St Thomas Church was a beautiful old church situated just outside Doncaster. It was the exact place Lauren would have loved.

They’d only been at the church for all of five minutes when Louis was beginning to get tired of the sympathetic looks and the seemingly empty words of condolence. He didn’t want pity, he wanted his daughter.

"I sat down two days ago with this very piece of paper and tried to think of all the things I should say about my little girl. I tried to think of the right thing, I tried to think of what you all would want me to say and I even tried to think of what i would want to hear me say." Louis took a steadying breath and looked at his mum, who smiled at him to continue,

"I never used to believe in love, I used to think it was just a silly notion that there was someone out there for every someone to love. I never understood what it meant to love someone for everything they are, through the good times and the bad. I never understood what it meant to love the colour of someone's eyes and the feel of their heartbeat or the softness of their hair, I never knew what any of it meant and I never understood what it meant to love someone so completely it hurt to see them in pain or to love the sight of their smile. That was until i met my Lauren.

"I know that every parent thinks that their child is the most incredibly perfect human being but I know that Lauren wasn’t but that is exactly why I loved her so much - why I do love her so much. She would whine when she could not have more ice cream after dinner and she'd cry when I told her that I could not hold her hand every step of the way, she snored when she slept and she always jumped on my bed to wake me up on Sunday mornings even though I’d told her on countless occasions not too.

"She always ran ahead of me when we were in a crowded place even though I told her she'd get lost, she always wrote on the walls with red crayon and cried when I told her she had to clean it up." he chuckled softly and wiped a stray tear from his eye,

"but I would give absolutely anything to have her ruin that stupid wallpaper in the hallway with her red crayon, I’d give anything to hear her laugh just one more time. I’d give up everything I have to hold her just one last time."

The church was suddenly too quiet and too small, Louis' hands were shaking and the tears were flowing freely now but he had to do this, _For Lauren_ he thought _For my baby girl_ , "I just miss her, I miss her laugh and the smell of her hair. I just- I miss her so much it hurts. I know that people say it'll get better in time and that the scars will heal but I don’t want to heal, I want my baby girl. I want to tell her a hundred times over how much I love her and I want to kiss her hair, I want to touch her cheek and wipe away her tears."

With unsteady legs, he took a step out from behind the lectern and went over to the little oak wood coffin and placed the little music box her mother gave him beside it, "I love you my lolly pop, don't have too much fun without me okay? Daddy misses you so very much."

-

The house felt far too big. It was missing something- it was missing _someone_.

Louis kicked off his shoes and walked up the stairs, not bothering to turn on the lights in his path. He walked past his bedroom and walked down the hall to the bedroom at the end. He lifted his shaking hand to turn the door handle and turned on the little lava lamp in the corner next to the door.

The room was exactly the way they had left it two weeks ago, everything was in its exact place but it all felt so foreign to him. Louis moved along the wall where those silly pink fairy lights where hung and ran his fingertips over the spines of her books stacked haphazardly on the wooden bookshelf.

He slowly approached the small unmade bed in the corner of the room when he spotted it, the small giraffe plush toy she took everywhere with her lying on the floor next to it. He took a deep breath and bent down to pick him up,

 _His name is Charlie, daddy_ Lauren told him in that adorably indignant voice of hers, he still smelled like her.

He missed her, today was so hard.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.


End file.
